Tuesday, February 23rd, ‘10

All rights reserved © message by Kris Jackson

 

WHEN THE VOW BREAKS

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6)

 

But separate is exactly what the Hollywood soaps, psychology, logic, personal fears, feelings, family and friends are all saying. When the bow breaks the cradle will fall, law of gravity. The same, we would assume, occurs when the vow breaks. The innocent partner’s world goes into freefall. And being made of glass as we are, the shattered shards spread on the floor are hard to glue back together, if not impossible. But the Bible says that all things are possible. Consider a few helpful approaches,

 

First, there is what is called biblical ground or the adultery clause, “Whosoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery…” (Mat 19:9) The Greek word is pornea, constituting all that is pornographic. Not just a slip but a constant slap. No one expects you to live under the slap of an adulterous partner. Other “grounds” are physical abuse or endangerment and abandonment. Note however that we should be looking for grounds for marriage rather than grounds for divorce.

 

By that I mean common ground. Your marriage may not be perfect but what do you have in common? There are the children; that’s a good reason to not separate. And there was that love you once had. Can it not be rekindled? You share a great financial incentive to stay put. You have the memories, some at least positive. Were there no vows before God? Can He not referee, soften then even bless? Look for common ground. The two of you have a lot more working for you than you may discern. Pain beclouds the eyes. In fog you have to watch the yellow or white lines. Don’t look for the horizon at this point, just focus on the immediate path. The fog will clear in time.

 

Third, there is a thing called new ground. Starting from where you are right now, make a conscientious effort to forgive and forget the past then work on the relationship by service, acts of kindness, positive affirmation, giving whatever touch the other will receive along with a lot of prayer. Take interest in the other’s interests. I started writing notes every few mornings on the mirror with soap. How simple yet what results. Make the special days “special” days. Guys think that is too much pressure but the female logic is that you’ve had an entire year to plan. Valentine’s Day and anniversaries don’t creep up unexpectedly. They’re the same on the calendar every year.

 

Finally, there is the concept of holy ground. Moses loosed the sandals from his feet because he stood on holy ground. Marriage isn’t just a contract or a civil union; it is a physical, emotional and spiritual covenant blessed and honored of heaven. By holy I don’t infer religious. One reason guys and sometimes gals split the relationship is because it is too starchy, proper and legalistic. By holy I mean elevated, unique, precious. Honor it. Value it. Esteem the other the way you desire it to be reciprocated. Don’t be scared to talk to God about your home. He is the third strand that keeps the other two on the rope (you and your mate) from unraveling. Holy ground is scriptural ground which is solid ground. Homes built on mood, money and ethereal magic are built on sand which is washed away with life’s storms. But to build on the Bible is to establish footings on the rock and that marriage will survive. The marriage on the Rock can make it when others are on the rocks.